Stop giving yourself deadlines. They’re not real. The only real deadlines are externally dictated. Instead, make careful commitments, and think of them that way – as agreements you make with yourself and with others.
The origin of the word “deadline” is germane here: prior to becoming synonymous with “due date,” deadline referred to the specific boundary around a civil war detention camp beyond which escape-minded prisoners would be shot. Decades later, with advances in printing technology, journalists borrowed the mechanical meaning of the word (where ink stopped being printed at the edge of a page) to describe the day and time their stories had to be filed.
In both contexts, it’s the imposition of an external authority or condition that creates the motivation to comply. That’s why it’s so hard to give ourselves deadlines. What are the consequences if we miss our self-imposed “deadlines”? Stress and guilt sure, but we’re not going to be shot.
Obviously, it’s challenging (for many reasons) to keep the commitments we make to do specific things by specific times. We take on too much. We underestimate how long something will take. We struggle to stay on top of organization and priorities.
And most of us, to one degree or another, subconsciously want – or even need – the pressure of that externally dictated deadline. Why? Because true deadlines trigger adrenaline rushes, and we’re finally forced to focus our energy and time (i.e., we temporarily cease struggling with what to do next. There are finally no options.)
This isn’t “just a matter of semantics.” The psychological difference between establishing a mental deadline that sounds external and making a carefully considered commitment that comes from within is huge.
It’s a matter of being in integrity with yourself and with the words that come out of your mouth. The classic client service adage applies: “Under-promise and over-deliver.”
Try practicing this week. Set your intention to notice the internal dialog you have with yourself about when you’re going to get something done. And pay attention to the words you speak to others about those tasks. Ask yourself if you can really keep the commitment you’re making. Then amend your words as necessary.
As long-time readers of my weekly tips have heard me say again and again, time management is really self management. And improved self-management always starts with awareness.
